yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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