How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
no, he came in my armpit
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
