Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Randomize
