She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
