i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
