# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I have fence marks all over my body
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
