I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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