YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i need an iv and a liver transplant
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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