Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
