i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
