Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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