Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
