It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
He kissed a someone with a penis
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
