my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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