Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
