how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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