Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
