As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Randomize
