Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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