the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
