I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
