is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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