the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
