You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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