this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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