I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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