fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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