Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Randomize
