i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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