just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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