He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize