is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
