Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
