On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i will never coherently bang her
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
