...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
