I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
my liver is dry heaving
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
