Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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