His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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