He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
