I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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