I CAN MOONWALK!
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
don't judge my taste in strippers
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
