It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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