Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
