dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
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