you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
