yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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