My room smells like vodka and shame
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
