I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
i need an iv and a liver transplant
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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