So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
