you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
