I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
