quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize