absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Randomize
