you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
