I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
