Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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