remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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