and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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