I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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