For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I'm determined to sit on that face.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
