oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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