First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
