are you so shy because you have an std?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
