Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
i think i have two assholes
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
